Up and Down and Up Again

Slightly overwhelmed this week. So much has happened, yet so little at the same time. Everything that is so small has become large and unbearable. Small insignificant details of life’s journey have manifested into something much more sinister and foreboding. I suppose that’s my own fault, I did say I was going to make a deliberate effort to acknowledge and be grateful for the smaller things in life. Now I need to find a way to work through these occurrences without allowing anxiety or depression to take over my being. The question is how?

I’m gonna start my reading my gratitude diary. Reading the lovely comments I’ve made in my journal should hopefully remind me if the finer things in life. And also comments made by others on this blog, about certain people or incidents I’ve written about previously. This should, hopefully, help me see these minor annoyances as just another part of my journey. So many challenges to overcome and so little time. The mind slips easily from being clear and positive to dark and brooding. I hope I can reinforce my lust for life and continue growing strong and happy.

Wow, I wrote this last week. How low I can get without sinking back into a deep depression. I did just as I mentioned; read my gratitude journal, went through comments and encouragements, and found a happy medium. And thank goodness for that, this week was even worse then last, but because I made my mindset and circumstances more positive I can face the world with a clear mind and happy outlook.

I’ve spoken before about triggers and I’ve worked out that is what set on my foul mood last week. By working out my trigger and setting it in the back of my mind I was able to move forward and continue to try happiness again for a better future. You may have noticed I did not mention WHAT the trigger was. I did this because this particular trigger was a big one, that I’m still not quite ready to share this one yet. It was a bloody scary trigger for me and once I realised it, my entire demeanor made sense and I was able to pull myself out of the darkness (yes, it was hard work, doable, but hard).

What I did discover was very interesting though. A friend of mine pushed the issue, hard. And when I asked her to stop and that her comments were disturbing me, she didn’t. I’m not saying she’s a bad friend by not respecting my request, and I’m sure that at the end of her day she thought she was doing the right thing. But at the end of my day her comments were simply unnecessary and extremely hurtful. I have decided to distance myself from our friendship, just until I can get my head around this issue (that may never even happen).

I wanted to complete this blog with ideas and thoughts on how to deal with these situations. I think if I can open a conversation about overcoming triggers (which I have touched on in earlier blogs) then I have accomplished something positive from this odd chain of events in my life. Also, to continue my journey on overcoming triggers, anxiety and depression, by moving forward in life with a positive outlook and sharing it with others.

Maybe it will help you, or someone you know, in life’s neverending journey of living in the moment and looking forward to your future by leaving the past behind you. Remembering is important but should not be unbearably overwhelming. You can’t change it, you can only learn and grow from it. Also, the past can have great moments in it, try not to focus on the bad times and acknowledge the good times instead.

Search for your happy everyday.

7 thoughts on “Up and Down and Up Again”

  1. I wrote a post about this before. By being mindful and grateful for the little things, you inevitably end up zooming in on the negative little things. People suggested I look more on the bright side. But life is not just sunshine and rainbows. I need to be aware of the negative things. They serve a purpose.

    I’m glad you identified a trigger. I don’t know your “friend”, but maybe you should explain to them (when you’re ready) exactly what they did wrong and how YOU envisioned the conversation to go. Make them understand it hurt you and WHY. And suggest a different way, that would be OK for you, for them to say certain things. Maybe they’re trying to help.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The conversations that you are having here seem to be bringing you comfort and support. We all need a certain amount of balance in our lives so it is good when we can find positive ways to maintain this balance. I am retired and writing now, and I still need to keep my life on track. May God continue to bless your walk with Him!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Beautiful comment, thank you. I genuinely feel justification in myself when I put things in writing. And when I finish a piece I can comfortably close a chapter of my life and continue forward. Backward steps are necessary in order to grow in grace and guide people to come along for your journey. Once again thank you, god bless.

      Liked by 1 person

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