I recently had a conversation with a young family member who was very disappointed in himself. He tried so hard and actually did amazingly well (the best in the whole team) in a sport he truly loved. Awards night came and he received the award for Most Goals Scored and people clapped. Families, friends, teammates and coach. Congratulations, well done. And the awards went on.
His teammates got awards such as Most Improved, Best and Fairest, Player of the Season and many other accolades of appreciation and gratitude for all the effort the team had put in to win the championship. So why did he just get one? I said to him, because you earned them! He clearly scored the most goals and massively contributed in winning the championship for his team. Without him they may have failed. But without him, his teammates would never have gotten the chance to earn their awards and grow as players. They would have ever had the opportunity to be fair and gracious in winning or respectful and accepting of defeat. Or, to have come from almost being scared of the ball to becoming best player of the year.
So often the “star” is overwhelmed with gratitude and would have easily received all of those awards but being in a team is what makes the sport great. Without his mates he would never have gotten the ball passed to him to make those goals. The gaps n the defensive line would have never been opened with out the skill and insights of his teammates. Those are the things that won the championship. His coach, teamates, family and friends acknowledged that without him they would never have won the championship, by giving him his award. They did this for his teammates also because (what he needed to understand) without his teammates brilliance as well as his they would never have won the championship. They clapped and cheered for you and said well done, thank you. Appreciation at its finest.
I recently discovered this in my own way. As a singer, everyone knows I can sing and expectations of me are quite high. If I smash a song out, people clap. But when one of my castmates, who is not a strong singer, smashes a song out accolades literally fall from the heavens. Without my guidance and support they would not have been able to perform as well as they did. But, no one would ever know. I needed to learn to step aside and let this amazing brave castmate to have their moment of glory and accept my performance as stock, standard and to be expected.
I think my point in all this is, to notice! Notice the Mortar between the Bricks that build the foundations of a beautiful Home. Because the home gets appreciated but the foundations get forgotten. By all means admire the home, star or the best player but remember without all the other aspects of whatever may be acknowledged, there is nothing.
If someone is doing a great job, tell them. If someone is trying hard but not making much progress, acknowledge their efforts, encourage them and become a pillar of strength and appreciation. Tell your loved ones how loved they are and why. Tell your friends you love it when they smile. Tell a stranger they have great hair or a nice outfit. Some of these people may know this already and that’s great. You’ve just helped build their self confidence and made their day even better. Some of these people may not have heard an encouraging word for quite some time and you may (this is no exaggeration) have saved their lives.
So share your love and appreciation with people. Your loved ones parents, spouse, children, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and friends. Tell them what you see when you look at them. Tell strangers on the street, friends of friends or random people on the internet. Tell them how you see them and remind them how grateful you are to have met them at this very moment in your life. Reflect! Be their mirror. Because sometimes they may or may not see what you see, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to know how truely amazing they are or how special they are, to you.
And maybe one day you’ll become the receiver of this awesome, positive wave of appreciation and you’ll truely become your real reflection as everyone sees you and not be so critical or hard on yourself or your situation.
It takes many steps to get to the top but, once your there help others to join you and share the beautiful view.