Triggers

So, I’ve been learning a lot lately about , triggers could be anything from; objects, words, places or even people. These ‘triggers’ turn on a lightbulb (or switch one off) in your brain, almost like knee-jerk reaction from the person affected. Some of these reactions are severe and others subtle, but always there ready to jump out and bite you at any second. These reaction all centralise around many different mental health conditions. Me, myself I have massive anxiety and depression.

My new challenge to myself, and I have a couple in mind for this blog, is to look for triggers and write about my reactions. What was my trigger? How did I react? Was anyone else, other than myself, affected by the trigger or my reaction of the trigger? And most importantly, how did (do) I move past these triggers, to move forward in a positive, life affirming manner so that ‘that particular trigger’ will no longer affect me in an anxious or depressive manner?

Any advice would be extremely welcome. Also, any questions I would love to answer.

I noticed today, I woke to sunshine. Yes, today had already started well, it’s warm and the sun is shining. I’m alive and ready to move through my day. Today should be easy, it’s a day off, just a nice relaxing day. I’ll sit and watch a movie and just chill. It was while I was watching a movie, I noticed my room darkening. The sun was hiding behind a cloud and I found myself feeling down and upset. Suddenly my bright sunny day was gone and was replaced by grey and cold.

It was in this time I noticed a trigger. It was the sun, moreover the lack thereof. My mood changed and I felt cold and alone, it bothered me. My depression came and smacked me in the face, it hurt. The coldness washed over me and my awesome day changed in just a few seconds. Then the sun jumped out again, my brain switched back to warmth and comfort, and I was truly content again.

So in saying that, I came up with the idea for this blog. Today my trigger was the sun hiding behind a cloud. How could I possibly change, ignore or move on from this trigger? I mean, it’s the sun. It just got me thinking … sometimes you can’t fix or eliminate the triggers affection on you. I think, being aware of your triggers is key to moving forward away from them and not letting them set you off anymore.

Today I realized, my depression was set off by the weather. Something I can’t change or control. I acknowledged the change in my mood and from now on I know I can be constantly aware of this trigger. I acknowledge that I’m being irrational by allowing such a small trivial thing bother me and I just need to wait for the sun again. All the time learning to try to appreciate the shadows of the clouds and the coldness it brings. This may still prove challenging, but I’m slowly getting there.

Like I said earlier, I may write about some more of my particular triggers. Other triggers that came to me today was a rum can, a song in my playlist (glitter in the Air – Pink), a text from a friend and a long and necessary conversation with another mate. Maybe next time I can enlighten you on some of those triggers, or (as they are everywhere) write about a new one.

What are your triggers?

How do react?

Have you managed to move past them, and how?

10 thoughts on “Triggers”

  1. Talking to or seeing my mom is always a big trigger for me. It is difficult because she is my only living immediate relative, so I don’t want to not have contact, but it is hard on me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know someone who has the same trigger. She tries to communicate on the phone and deliberately sets a time to call, so she won’t be disturbed or distracted. Then she unwinds after with a bath or a wine (or both).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I kind of do the same thing in a way. I minimize contact, even though I don’t abandon it. Some days I do not call her back if I am not emotionally ready to deal with it yet. I do like to get it over with though when I feel up to it.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s good advice. Hopefully when I feel better I can another step back. The school my kids and husband are in don’t have volunteer opportunities that won’t require too much standing. But I’m sure I can find something to do at some point. While I’m in the hospital, we’ve been don’t aromatherapy. I can’t say it helps too much but the ginger one does help with nausea.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I get depressed when I can’t see my family for long periods of time. Like week days, they go school. All 3 of them. To the same school. It makes me worry about school shootings more. Just the thought makes my whole world come crashing down.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Could you volunteer at the school to set your mind at ease during the day? Also at night or weekends start conversations or games to prepare your family as to best protect themselves in a dangerous situation. You may find tour depression settles if you know that they are prepared for anything. And if, god forbid, anything should happen you know you did your best and so did they. I used these techniques with my family (school, doctors, emergencies, stranger danger and of course 000). And above all else tell them you love them all the time. Hope this helps x

      Liked by 2 people

        1. Oh that must be so hard for you. Sounds like alot of pressure and overall tiredness for you as well. Definitely use the love comment and take a step back from your worries and try and focus on yourself. Ask for help and do your best everyday. Even if it’s something small, conscientiously look for a light every day and pull your focus from that. Ask the hospital for a councillor to come visit you when your there. You may find this helps too. Xx good luck sweets and keep writing.

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