Coming out of a relationship of over 15yrs, I wish my, now, ex husband well. I wish him good health, good fortune and above all happiness. Hopefully if he’s healthy, wealthy and happy he will leave me alone and move on with his life without burdening me with all his imaginary dramas.
Why did I leave?
Good question! I just got sick and tired of putting out fires (I’ll elaborate some of those “fires” in future blogs) and trying not to reignite ones already solved and moved on from. It became very tiring for me and my health suffered greatly, it still suffers. I lost alot of friends due to his bullying and my forced alienation, most of them are still gone and never to be seen again.
So why, why would I wish him well?
Well, in truth, I’m a nice person. I stuck around in the hopes that this amazing man I fell in love with would realize just how amazing he was. I told him constantly how good he was at everything (which he was) and that he is the best thing in my life. But I never got anything back. If he complimented me, it always came with a request (and no, not of anything wonderful, like sex), normally to do with money he needed or alcohol requests. And, yes, for the record, I had married an alcoholic. Not the best choice in life but it was mine and I live with it (Pls do some digging on your future partner before you put a ring on it). Naturally being a dutiful wife I would obey, sometimes with an argument but, normally, to avoid a tantrum, I’d give in. This unfortunately left me with nothing, no money, friends, or self worth.
It was all part of his “MO”, so to speak. Isolation, no friends, no money, no will. I didn’t realize I was in an extremely abusive relationship until my brain snapped and I genuinely became a Victim of domestic violence (which I’ll also elaborate on in later blogs). I went to see a professional about my complete mental breakdown and she immediately wanted to ship me off to a women’s shelter, saying g i was one of the worst cases she’d ever seen, which I refused. I thought she was wrong.
Did he know he was doing it? I don’t know!
Am I glad I’ve got away from him, and the hell he built for me? Yes, extremely!
Would I ever go back? Oh, hell no!
So, why do I wish him well?
As a thank you for showing me what not to put up with again.
As a thank you for allowing me to move on and become the person I always dreamed I could be.
As a thank you for giving me courage to write a blog page and attempt to assist others.
As a thank you for always being consistent and putting me in my place (now I know to never go back there again and always move forward).
And lastly, as a thank you for my life so far, through good times and bad we lasted over 15yrs, and that to me I can live with knowing I did everything in my power to make it work.
Moving on is magic, and that is why I wish him well.
I would love your feedback and personal stories of how you got out of an abusive relationship, or if your still in one. I can help, truly. R u still Civil with your ex, or is hell freezing over first? Let me know. Do you think you are in an abusive relationship?
Follow my blog, lots of surprising stories are going to pop up and hopefully help you through life’s challenges.